My Novel, Now You See Me, Now You Don't, is now available.

Just sharing the news... my book, “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t” is officially out!! It's available in hard-copy and e-Book. Available on Amazon and B&N. The story is about an outcast boy dealing with bullying and the ghost of a girl seeking to avenge her death. NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DON'T is a YA fantasy novel dealing with a real life issue affecting our youth today, a story where the real world meets the supernatural. Check it out!!

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but the silence of a text can break your heart.

Since text messages have become more common, we see more incidents of couples breaking up by cell phones. Everyone knows that telling someone you want to break up is hard, but explaining why can be harder, that’s the reason some people will actually text in order to avoid confrontation, but you are not doing anyone a favor, but yourself. While new technology has led us to socialize and communicate through airwaves, computer screens, or text messages, it has also made us a very impersonal society. A text message can be interpreted in many ways since emotion or tone of voice is absent, so it should never be used to end a relationship. This is a slap in the face. 

There are really no good reasons why you should dump someone via text, unless you are fifteen years old or you have been dating a psycho and you're concerned for your safety. However, if that is not the case, then breaking things off by text is bad etiquette and lack of social skills.  

So, if that person meant something to you at one point in time you at least owe that person the courtesy of a phone call, —even a phone call is better than a text message. However, breaking up in person is more civilized than the tasteless alternative, and yet still some people choose to use this tactless method of breaking up. Some do it to avoid confrontation, like I mentioned before, others have trouble communicating their feelings, others don’t feel like they want or need to explain, some are just lazy and look for the easy way out, and others are just plain rude. Remember when you break-up with someone you should allow them the opportunity to get some things off their chest as well; otherwise they are left with questions hanging in the air and that is not fair. A text saying, “WE’RE DONE!” or “IT’S OVER!” will not bring closure to that person. It is hard enough to cope with the fact that you are being dumped, let alone not knowing why and leave you wondering WTF?

Personally, as uncomfortable as it may be, I would prefer to deal with the unpleasant issue face to face. The use of a break up text is rude, crude and socially unacceptable, no matter what your age is. You should show some respect for the good times you had in your relationship by ending it in the right way. 

And if you are the one receiving the breakup text, you should not respond to their text. If that person lacked the character and spine to face you one last time, obviously they are not worthy of your time.

So, what’s your take? What do you think about breaking up with someone over a text message, voice mail or email, is it cowardly or just plain rude?

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES

Why do people lie?  There is a simple answer: because it’s easy!

People lie every day for all kinds of reasons. Most people lie to protect themselves and to cover for their mistakes.  Virtually everyone does it, I know I do.   But some people may lie more than others and some people are better liars than others, but everyone is guilty of lying at one point or another.  When it comes to lying there is no gender difference, men lie no more than women, and almost everyone lies at work.

Most people learn to lie at a very early age, and continue lying their entire lives.  Starting at an early age children will lie to avoid getting into trouble, and when it comes to dodging punishment, most kids are expert liars; I know that for a fact, I have three boys.   

We all know it is wrong to lie, yet, we learned early not only the benefits but also the necessity of lying.  By the time most people are adults, lying is second nature to us, it is just another human trait, so don’t feel bad if you told a little white lie today.

Sometimes lying is the best approach for protecting your privacy.  Some deception, such as boasting and lies in the name of tact and politeness, can be classified as less than serious. A little white lie never hurt anybody, they are even considered socially acceptable.   So you see, not all lies are harmful.  Our parents taught us that lying was bad but we saw them doing it, and at some point they even encouraged us when we were little to tell someone a lie. For example, “Tell Aunt Bertha she looks pretty today,” when you knew she didn’t, or “don’t tell your dad how much I spent on these shoes.”   Leaving out the truth or putting in something false is still considered lying, those can be harmful if you get caught.  That person will lose all trust he or she had in you. 

Lying is considered wrong, but when it comes to avoiding trouble, saving face in front of the boss, or sparing someone’s feelings, many people find themselves doing it anyway.   We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people too, and other times when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as means to prevent loss of morale. 

Ok, so now that we have established that we all do it, why do we lie? Sure, lying can be both useful and sometimes even fun to embellish a little and stretch out the truth, yet there are fundamental reasons why we lie, but the main culprit behind our lies is “Fear,” our own insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other. There is the Fear of harm, Fear of conflict or having an argument, Fear of punishment, Fear of rejection, and the Fear of loss.  

There are also selfless reasons why we lie, we do it when we want to help our friends and loved ones, or when we want to flatter someone just to make them feel better.

Then there is the bald-face lie or the big fat lie, the most harmful lie of all and that is when it is done with the malicious intent to gain something or deprive someone of something.  In many cases, this form of lying is no different than stealing or taking another's life, but many still seem to do it regardless of the outcomes of hurting someone or depriving them of something.  But why do people do it?  Have they no shame?  Many couples do this to cheat on their spouse. Many thieves do this to steal others' belongings and other individuals do this to control the minds of people to get them to do what they want them to do.  But whatever the reason these individuals may have for these types of deceptive, misleading and dishonest lies, it is just plain wrong!   Not only society see these liars as low life scum but their deceptive gain actions constitute fraud, cheating or stealing, which are considered to be white-collar crimes.  

So, what kind of things do you lie about?  Come on now, be honest!

Ahhh... I'm not ready for a quiet house!!

First time in 16 years, I get to experience for a few days the meaning of being home alone while my boys are on vacation with my sister.  My free time is always spent with my boys, and if one of them is away then I’m with the other one, so right now I don’t know what to do with both of them being gone. The house is so quiet with them away, —it’s kind of eerie. The sound of silence is making my skin crawl, so I turned up the volume on the TV just for ambience noise… lol

Is this how life will be when they’re off to college? If it is, I’m going to go crazy.  I can’t take the silence! You would think I’d be enjoying this leisure time, but not me —I’m pretty bored!!

The house is clean, and I have nothing else to do. I already wasted enough time on Facebook. I would play with my dogs but all they do is sleep, so they’re no fun. I guess I could use some ME time, but then what?  I would take a nap and catch up with my sleep, but I’m not tired.  I thought of going to the outlet mall, but then I’d end up buying stuff I don’t really need with money I don’t have, so that’s a bust. I thought of going to the pool, but it’s so freaking hot outside, I can feel my skin sizzling every time I step out in the direct heat of the sun, besides I don’t want to end up looking like Snooki. Then I figured this would be a great time to write, but that didn’t work either, since today I’m having writer’s block, so it’s useless trying to work on my novel. Therefore, I'm just spilling out my awkward feeling on this blog, rambling on like an idiot.  I hope that by tomorrow, I will know what to do with the two words I’m not familiar with, “Peace and Quiet.”

Do you really want to know me?

I’m not perfect, I’m just a normal person, and I don't pretend to be someone I'm not.  I am an author but not a famous one.  I’m a single mother who has always struggled to provide for my children, but they have grown to be happy and honorable young men.  I’m not a widow, but sometimes I wish I was... yes I’m divorced, my children’s father made the choice of not being part of their lives, but that was his lost.  You can do me wrong, but never hurt my children or you will have an enemy for life.   I don’t always have money, but what I do have is the love of my family.  I’m the third of four sisters and we love each other.  

I don’t have a flat stomach, and I don’t have a perfect body.  I eat all the food that I love in moderation, that’s why I have curves.  I’m a Latin woman with some extra junk in the trunk.  People say I’m pretty but sometimes I feel ugly.  I have scars because I have a past, I have carried a lot of pain and hate inside.  I have been down but I always get up.   My house is not always clean, because I hate to clean.  I don’t like to be labeled lonely because I’m single.  I am a shy person, I hardly ever mingle, but that doesn’t mean I don’t like to have fun.  I don’t hate all men, but I don’t trust any of them, that doesn’t mean I’m gay. (No offense to anyone)  I don’t judge if a person is gay or whom they choose to love, their color, their religion or their faith.   I have done many good deeds, and many bad things that I am not so proud of.   I wasn’t popular in school, in fact I thought people made fun of me for being different.  I color my hair and I wear glasses.  I rarely go to a salon to get my nails done, mostly because it is an extra expense that I can't always afford, but I enjoy being pampered.  Sometimes I like to dress up depending on my mood, but I love wearing jeans, boots or sneakers and a plain old t-shirt. 

I love the color purple, my lucky number is 3, and like most people I would love to win the lottery.  I like cats but I don’t have one.   I have a phobia but I won’t say it, only my immediate family know what it is.   I have two dogs, three sons and a granddaughter.  I'm random and sometimes even sound crazy.  I’m a prankster, I love to laugh and make people laugh.  

Some people love me, some really like me and if they hate me, I really don’t care.  I am who I am, this is the real me.

A Single Mom – Every day is Mother’s Day.

Being a single mother has been probably the most difficult thing I will ever do.  I have had to carry all of the responsibilities, difficulties and stress associated with being a parent all by myself.  I live under tremendous pressure, but still I have kept my sanity.  I have played the roles of mom and dad simultaneously for a many years.  My boys tease me that it is not fair that I get to celebrate both, Mother’s and Father’s Day, but if I can get two days out of the year for them to do chores without complaining, I don’t see why not.  As most single mothers, I too tend to be over protective of my children, but I have learned that you shouldn’t interfere too much with their life, just keep a watchful eye and a firm guiding hand when required.

Although being a single mother has its share of good and bad days, I have to admit it does have its advantages, —I get all of their love and affection, and I don’t have to share.  Being a single mother has made me a stronger person. It has made me independent and courageous. Their love for me is unconditionally, they look up to me.  To them, I am their hero, and that makes me feel even more special than any gift would on a day like Mother’s day.  Despite how hard my life is, I have been blessed with three wonderful boys, and I am eternally grateful!

To many single mothers like me, Mother’s Day is just another day.  You see, when there is no other parent to acknowledge your hard work or throw a little money in for some real flowers, you don’t expect any gifts or special treatments, especially if your kids are still young.

Thankfully, my boys are old enough and this year, I’m expecting to wake up to the smell of an edible breakfast and hopefully not to the sound of the smoke detector. 

I may not get flowers or gifts yet, but I know that I have and will always have the love and respect of my children, because they know my love for them is real and I would never run out on them, so to me every day is mother’s day.

Now, whether you are a single mom or not, being a mother is a demanding role that deserves many thanks and I hope you are rewarded for all of your hard work.

From one mom to another, Happy Mother's Day!

Losing weight – is it simple or not?

Do you believe losing weight is a simple thing to do?   For me it’s not.  It is a constant battle to which I have surrendered many many times.

Losing weight is a difficult struggle for many of us. With all the junk food readily available, it can be hard to stick to a healthy lifestyle and stay determined to lose the weight.   Especially because we are expecting too much result in too little time, and therefore we give up.

How many of us have seen weight loss commercials or read articles telling us how easy it is to lose weight? —if we just take this pill, follow that crazy diet, buy this gizmo or get that equipment which most of the time ends up in the corner of your room only to be used to hang your clothes or shoved in the garage under a pile of your other useless junk for your next garage sale.   We spend over billions each year on weight loss products and services and yet we are still overweight, because to lose weight, not only you have to change your eating habits but your lifestyle too.  Those are easy to do the first few weeks but then it is difficult for a lot of us to keep that promise.  The key to lose weight, be fit and enjoy a healthy life is the “Attitude.”  We all have to have that positive attitude to accomplish any goals we set in life, right?  Well, it also applies for losing weight.

Therefore, I have changed my attitude.  I have always been conscious about my weight, although I still get a lot of compliments for not looking my age, I am not as slim as I used to be when I was in my twenties or thirties.  However, when you get to a certain age and suddenly gravity strike, and certain parts of the body start shifting the wrong way and you find yourself looking in the mirror with horror saying to yourself, “WTF that did not look like that!”   It’s kind of a wakeup call, at least for me it was.   I myself HATE to exercise (which I like to refer to as self-inflicting torture probably invented by men.)  *laughs*  I am ok with diets but can’t get committed to one for too long, so my weight fluctuates which I don’t think is healthy.   But lately, it wasn’t  just how I looked in the mirror or how tight my jeans felt around my waist that made me realize that I needed to get fit and do something to improve my looks and health.  It was something more special that made me change my attitude from “ooh, I’m too tired to go to the gym” to “I can do this!” And that reason was that I want to be around for my children and grandchildren, and I think that is a hell of a motivation for anyone.   And if you don’t have children, you can also find something else to motivate yourself, like having more energy, improve your mood, have a better sex life, or help prevent or manage your health problems.

The idea behind losing weight is very simple, just burn more calories than you eat.  It can be as simple as replacing a couple of sodas with water and adding 20 minutes of walking to your day.  But you have to be willing to be more active on a regular basis--not just for a week here and there.  A workout is not about killing yourself, it's about being physically active by finding an activity that you like and that you will stick to for the rest of your life and eventually the results will show physically and emotionally.  I don’t believe in drastic weight loss, or extreme exercising, but if it works for you, —my hat’s off to you!

I think is best to be realistic about your goals, no one is going to go from a size 20 to a size 2 in two months unless you starve yourself.  My trainer asked me to bring a photograph of my ideal physique; he said it could be of a celebrity or one of me at my best to use as motivation.  Eeeeh! A celebrity, really? As if all of the sudden I’m going to transform into someone I’m not and could never be.  This is where the young girls get the wrong idea on how they should look. (society's unrealistic expectations.)  Embrace your body type and don’t be too harsh on yourself if you don’t see much progress, specially don’t give up.   The main thing is that you will gradually change your lifestyle and eating habits and that is what counts.  In the long run, you will be fit, healthier, feel younger and look great!  Remember, Rome was not built in a day!

I will keep you guys informed of my progress and/or if I keep up my exercise routine, (fingers crossed) like I said I’m not expecting any sudden changes nor I’m expecting to look like I did in my twenties.  I just want to have more energy, feel good, and if I drop of couple of sizes, more power to me.