My Novel, Now You See Me, Now You Don't, is now available.

Just sharing the news... my book, “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t” is officially out!! It's available in hard-copy and e-Book. Available on Amazon and B&N. The story is about an outcast boy dealing with bullying and the ghost of a girl seeking to avenge her death. NOW YOU SEE ME, NOW YOU DON'T is a YA fantasy novel dealing with a real life issue affecting our youth today, a story where the real world meets the supernatural. Check it out!!

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but the silence of a text can break your heart.

Since text messages have become more common, we see more incidents of couples breaking up by cell phones. Everyone knows that telling someone you want to break up is hard, but explaining why can be harder, that’s the reason some people will actually text in order to avoid confrontation, but you are not doing anyone a favor, but yourself. While new technology has led us to socialize and communicate through airwaves, computer screens, or text messages, it has also made us a very impersonal society. A text message can be interpreted in many ways since emotion or tone of voice is absent, so it should never be used to end a relationship. This is a slap in the face. 

There are really no good reasons why you should dump someone via text, unless you are fifteen years old or you have been dating a psycho and you're concerned for your safety. However, if that is not the case, then breaking things off by text is bad etiquette and lack of social skills.  

So, if that person meant something to you at one point in time you at least owe that person the courtesy of a phone call, —even a phone call is better than a text message. However, breaking up in person is more civilized than the tasteless alternative, and yet still some people choose to use this tactless method of breaking up. Some do it to avoid confrontation, like I mentioned before, others have trouble communicating their feelings, others don’t feel like they want or need to explain, some are just lazy and look for the easy way out, and others are just plain rude. Remember when you break-up with someone you should allow them the opportunity to get some things off their chest as well; otherwise they are left with questions hanging in the air and that is not fair. A text saying, “WE’RE DONE!” or “IT’S OVER!” will not bring closure to that person. It is hard enough to cope with the fact that you are being dumped, let alone not knowing why and leave you wondering WTF?

Personally, as uncomfortable as it may be, I would prefer to deal with the unpleasant issue face to face. The use of a break up text is rude, crude and socially unacceptable, no matter what your age is. You should show some respect for the good times you had in your relationship by ending it in the right way. 

And if you are the one receiving the breakup text, you should not respond to their text. If that person lacked the character and spine to face you one last time, obviously they are not worthy of your time.

So, what’s your take? What do you think about breaking up with someone over a text message, voice mail or email, is it cowardly or just plain rude?

 

THE TRUTH ABOUT LIES

Why do people lie?  There is a simple answer: because it’s easy!

People lie every day for all kinds of reasons. Most people lie to protect themselves and to cover for their mistakes.  Virtually everyone does it, I know I do.   But some people may lie more than others and some people are better liars than others, but everyone is guilty of lying at one point or another.  When it comes to lying there is no gender difference, men lie no more than women, and almost everyone lies at work.

Most people learn to lie at a very early age, and continue lying their entire lives.  Starting at an early age children will lie to avoid getting into trouble, and when it comes to dodging punishment, most kids are expert liars; I know that for a fact, I have three boys.   

We all know it is wrong to lie, yet, we learned early not only the benefits but also the necessity of lying.  By the time most people are adults, lying is second nature to us, it is just another human trait, so don’t feel bad if you told a little white lie today.

Sometimes lying is the best approach for protecting your privacy.  Some deception, such as boasting and lies in the name of tact and politeness, can be classified as less than serious. A little white lie never hurt anybody, they are even considered socially acceptable.   So you see, not all lies are harmful.  Our parents taught us that lying was bad but we saw them doing it, and at some point they even encouraged us when we were little to tell someone a lie. For example, “Tell Aunt Bertha she looks pretty today,” when you knew she didn’t, or “don’t tell your dad how much I spent on these shoes.”   Leaving out the truth or putting in something false is still considered lying, those can be harmful if you get caught.  That person will lose all trust he or she had in you. 

Lying is considered wrong, but when it comes to avoiding trouble, saving face in front of the boss, or sparing someone’s feelings, many people find themselves doing it anyway.   We often lie to make ourselves more desirable to other people too, and other times when our self-esteem starts to decline, we even lie to ourselves as means to prevent loss of morale. 

Ok, so now that we have established that we all do it, why do we lie? Sure, lying can be both useful and sometimes even fun to embellish a little and stretch out the truth, yet there are fundamental reasons why we lie, but the main culprit behind our lies is “Fear,” our own insecurities are the foundation of why we lie to each other. There is the Fear of harm, Fear of conflict or having an argument, Fear of punishment, Fear of rejection, and the Fear of loss.  

There are also selfless reasons why we lie, we do it when we want to help our friends and loved ones, or when we want to flatter someone just to make them feel better.

Then there is the bald-face lie or the big fat lie, the most harmful lie of all and that is when it is done with the malicious intent to gain something or deprive someone of something.  In many cases, this form of lying is no different than stealing or taking another's life, but many still seem to do it regardless of the outcomes of hurting someone or depriving them of something.  But why do people do it?  Have they no shame?  Many couples do this to cheat on their spouse. Many thieves do this to steal others' belongings and other individuals do this to control the minds of people to get them to do what they want them to do.  But whatever the reason these individuals may have for these types of deceptive, misleading and dishonest lies, it is just plain wrong!   Not only society see these liars as low life scum but their deceptive gain actions constitute fraud, cheating or stealing, which are considered to be white-collar crimes.  

So, what kind of things do you lie about?  Come on now, be honest!