Tuesday, November 20, 2012

EXCUSE ME, MAY I BORROW YOUR RHINO SKIN?



You are probably wondering, what in the hell is she talking about?  LOL.
 
Well, one of the many advices given to a new writer is that you need to get a thick skin to make it in the business.  Whether you write a blog or a novel, writing opens the door and invites anyone to take a pot shot at you.  What sucks is that as a writer you don’t get to shoot back with a smartass reply to the critique, because it is unprofessional.    Dealing with criticism is part of a writer’s life, but learning from it and staying motivated is part of the process of being successful in writing.  Guess what? —this is easier said than done.  

Now that my work is available to the public, there are days that I wonder why I ever thought of becoming a writer.   I was just setting myself up to get my ego hurt, humiliated and criticized, but I had a dream and I was going to live it, or at least give it my best trying.

I have always been my worst critic, and I thought of myself as being tough person.  After all, growing up wasn’t easy,  I was picked on for being different, I was anorexic skinny, wore awful looking glasses and had bushy eyebrows, then later on, I was made fun of for speaking with an accent, which to this day I still do.   I was rocking the heavy accent before Sofia Vergara made it popular and sexy.  (*grinning*)  I wasn’t known as the cool girl, I was noticeable for all the wrong reasons.  So you’d think I’d be used to criticism and that by know my skin would be as thick as a rhinoceros’ hide, but that is not the case.

When I started submitting queries and partials, the rejections made me want to curl up in a ball and just give up on my dream.   The truth was that my shell was not as tough as I thought it was, beneath it, was and still is a very sensitive soul, sometimes I take things personally, not a good thing when you want to be a published author.  Now that I’ve suffered through enough rejections, I kind of take them in stride but I still cringe and get weak at the knees every time I open an email from a literary agent, luckily most of them are just form rejection, but when they’re not, I read what they have to say and learn from their constructive criticisms. 

Some people have a gift for giving criticism in an encouraging, constructive way, and others say the same thing and you feel you’re being ripped to shreds.   So if the criticism comes from someone to whom you should listen, then you should begin looking for ways to learn from what they said, take what you can learn from it, and move on to the next thing.  At least that’s what I try to do.   

It’s ok to have flaws, we are all perfectly imperfect, and other people may notice that from time to time.  Nevertheless, no one likes to be criticized, especially when you don’t have a hard shell to hide under and you don’t have a magic wand to make the negative feedback go way.  You can’t act like a kid and close your eyes, and put your fingers in your ears while shouting lalalala, —that won’t work, I think I may have tried that already… lol.   As grown-ups, we have to face it, and sometimes even cry, but we must always pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start out all over again, that’s is the only way to survive a critique. 

Personally, I value the input of others and find some critiques to be very helpful, especially those that point out deficiencies in my writing.   If one of my stories happens to die of an honorable death because it is unreadable, received low ratings or unfavorable reviews, I’m fine with that, it doesn’t mean they don’t like me, they just don’t like the book, besides, I will not be the first nor the last author that this happens to.  

Now you are saying, “OMG! Did she get a bad review?”  

Ok, so my writing is not perfect, at least I should get an “A” for effort, right?  Well, that is not the way it works.  Darn it!  I knew I should have asked my family and friends to write excellent reviews for my books, that way the good reviews would outweigh the bad ones, but I didn’t… EPIC FAIL!   I don’t compare my writing to any famous prolific author, nor I am in the same rank as any of them but I like to write and I have fun doing it, coming up with characters and scenarios in my head.  Writers write; they put their writings out there for the public to enjoy and praise but they also run the risk of getting their work shredded by the public.  I just know that I have to be appreciative of a bad review; at least they took the time to read my book and write about it.   Of course, it crushed my ego, and left a bad taste in my mouth, but life goes on.  

Excuse me, while I finish dusting myself off, —ok, done!  Now, I need to keep focused on what I do and why I do it.  Since I am new in the business of writing, I still have a long, tough road ahead of me with much more to learn, if I dare to keep going down this path and keep falling down, but if I do, I’ll better start working on my rhino suit.   In the meantime, I have to keep reminding myself that a bad mention is better than no mention at all.  It could actually work in my favor, as other readers, particularly those who are skeptical of reviews would have never know of my book, had it not been for other people talking about it.

Can you handle criticism or do you need to work on your rhino suit?

No comments:

Post a Comment