A Single Mom – Every day is Mother’s Day.

Being a single mother has been probably the most difficult thing I will ever do.  I have had to carry all of the responsibilities, difficulties and stress associated with being a parent all by myself.  I live under tremendous pressure, but still I have kept my sanity.  I have played the roles of mom and dad simultaneously for a many years.  My boys tease me that it is not fair that I get to celebrate both, Mother’s and Father’s Day, but if I can get two days out of the year for them to do chores without complaining, I don’t see why not.  As most single mothers, I too tend to be over protective of my children, but I have learned that you shouldn’t interfere too much with their life, just keep a watchful eye and a firm guiding hand when required.

Although being a single mother has its share of good and bad days, I have to admit it does have its advantages, —I get all of their love and affection, and I don’t have to share.  Being a single mother has made me a stronger person. It has made me independent and courageous. Their love for me is unconditionally, they look up to me.  To them, I am their hero, and that makes me feel even more special than any gift would on a day like Mother’s day.  Despite how hard my life is, I have been blessed with three wonderful boys, and I am eternally grateful!

To many single mothers like me, Mother’s Day is just another day.  You see, when there is no other parent to acknowledge your hard work or throw a little money in for some real flowers, you don’t expect any gifts or special treatments, especially if your kids are still young.

Thankfully, my boys are old enough and this year, I’m expecting to wake up to the smell of an edible breakfast and hopefully not to the sound of the smoke detector. 

I may not get flowers or gifts yet, but I know that I have and will always have the love and respect of my children, because they know my love for them is real and I would never run out on them, so to me every day is mother’s day.

Now, whether you are a single mom or not, being a mother is a demanding role that deserves many thanks and I hope you are rewarded for all of your hard work.

From one mom to another, Happy Mother's Day!

Losing weight – is it simple or not?

Do you believe losing weight is a simple thing to do?   For me it’s not.  It is a constant battle to which I have surrendered many many times.

Losing weight is a difficult struggle for many of us. With all the junk food readily available, it can be hard to stick to a healthy lifestyle and stay determined to lose the weight.   Especially because we are expecting too much result in too little time, and therefore we give up.

How many of us have seen weight loss commercials or read articles telling us how easy it is to lose weight? —if we just take this pill, follow that crazy diet, buy this gizmo or get that equipment which most of the time ends up in the corner of your room only to be used to hang your clothes or shoved in the garage under a pile of your other useless junk for your next garage sale.   We spend over billions each year on weight loss products and services and yet we are still overweight, because to lose weight, not only you have to change your eating habits but your lifestyle too.  Those are easy to do the first few weeks but then it is difficult for a lot of us to keep that promise.  The key to lose weight, be fit and enjoy a healthy life is the “Attitude.”  We all have to have that positive attitude to accomplish any goals we set in life, right?  Well, it also applies for losing weight.

Therefore, I have changed my attitude.  I have always been conscious about my weight, although I still get a lot of compliments for not looking my age, I am not as slim as I used to be when I was in my twenties or thirties.  However, when you get to a certain age and suddenly gravity strike, and certain parts of the body start shifting the wrong way and you find yourself looking in the mirror with horror saying to yourself, “WTF that did not look like that!”   It’s kind of a wakeup call, at least for me it was.   I myself HATE to exercise (which I like to refer to as self-inflicting torture probably invented by men.)  *laughs*  I am ok with diets but can’t get committed to one for too long, so my weight fluctuates which I don’t think is healthy.   But lately, it wasn’t  just how I looked in the mirror or how tight my jeans felt around my waist that made me realize that I needed to get fit and do something to improve my looks and health.  It was something more special that made me change my attitude from “ooh, I’m too tired to go to the gym” to “I can do this!” And that reason was that I want to be around for my children and grandchildren, and I think that is a hell of a motivation for anyone.   And if you don’t have children, you can also find something else to motivate yourself, like having more energy, improve your mood, have a better sex life, or help prevent or manage your health problems.

The idea behind losing weight is very simple, just burn more calories than you eat.  It can be as simple as replacing a couple of sodas with water and adding 20 minutes of walking to your day.  But you have to be willing to be more active on a regular basis--not just for a week here and there.  A workout is not about killing yourself, it's about being physically active by finding an activity that you like and that you will stick to for the rest of your life and eventually the results will show physically and emotionally.  I don’t believe in drastic weight loss, or extreme exercising, but if it works for you, —my hat’s off to you!

I think is best to be realistic about your goals, no one is going to go from a size 20 to a size 2 in two months unless you starve yourself.  My trainer asked me to bring a photograph of my ideal physique; he said it could be of a celebrity or one of me at my best to use as motivation.  Eeeeh! A celebrity, really? As if all of the sudden I’m going to transform into someone I’m not and could never be.  This is where the young girls get the wrong idea on how they should look. (society's unrealistic expectations.)  Embrace your body type and don’t be too harsh on yourself if you don’t see much progress, specially don’t give up.   The main thing is that you will gradually change your lifestyle and eating habits and that is what counts.  In the long run, you will be fit, healthier, feel younger and look great!  Remember, Rome was not built in a day!

I will keep you guys informed of my progress and/or if I keep up my exercise routine, (fingers crossed) like I said I’m not expecting any sudden changes nor I’m expecting to look like I did in my twenties.  I just want to have more energy, feel good, and if I drop of couple of sizes, more power to me.

Are there such things as Ghosts or do you believe the theory that is all in a person’s head?

Ever since I started writing a novel involving a ghost, “Now You See Me, Now You Don’t” I have had some freaky and weird experiences at home, (eek! I just got the chills) and I really don’t know what to believe, so I have just come to the conclusion that I’m stressed out because I don’t seem to be able to finish this novel. (That’s my way of debunking the paranormal idea.)  I have to admit that the thought of what if it is real, does scares me, and it has slow down my writing of this novel significantly, because I refuse to let any ghost inside my head.  But what I have done is that I took this first hand haunting experience and ghostly insight as a spooktacular inspiration and incorporated it into my novel (if life gives you lemons, hey just make lemonade, right?).   Now, I can really say I have a ghost story to tell, and there was no need for me to do the research. 

How about you, do you have any ghost stories to tell or is it all in your head?

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Can you hear the Love train?

Valentine's Day is fast approaching and you’re probably wondering what to give the special someone in your life, right?   Well, the importance of this day is how you communicate your love. Just make sure that you make it personal, so take some time to plan ahead and show your loved one how much you care.  But whatever you do, please don’t wait until the last minute to shop. 

  

Personally, I don’t think it’s important to spend a lot of money on a gift to show you care about someone, but if you don’t make an effort, your gift will not be appreciated as much as if you had put some thought into it.   

If you go with the traditional box of chocolate and bouquet of flowers, make sure that your gift is accompanied by a card with your heartfelt handwritten feeling and thoughts of love.  Don’t just buy a card and sign your name to it for God’s sake, make the effort to try to be creative and do something out of the ordinary. 

Many couples are busy with family and careers, and just struggling to keep up with life’s daily demands.  If you fall in this category, you know how exhausting it can be and the strain it can put on a relationship, well now is the time to unwind and consider spending some quality time with that special someone that well may be exactly what your partner is longing for this Valentine’s Day.  If you would like to create a beautiful Valentine’s Day memory for the two of you, here are some ideas that are sure to make a memory that you and your partner will treasure forever.  A romantic weekend getaway; a night to remember at a fancy hotel; a romantic rendezvous at a nice restaurant; or a simple movie date holding hands with your special someone can do the trick. You could arrange for a couple’s spa treatment and indulge in a soothing, healing and romantic message or if you want to be creative just light up some candles and pour some mineral salts to transform your bath into a sea of tranquility and unwind in your own romantic, intimate and sensual bath with your partner. (soft music playing in the background to set the mood right of course!)   You can keep it simple as long as you are creative and thoughtful.

Whatever you decide, just make sure you whisper to that special someone the three little words that means so much to them. 

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!

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Crying is healthy for both genders.

There is a natural body function that helps relieve stress, but unfortunately, it is something that probably most men have been discouraged from doing.  Crying is a natural way to relief stress that if left unchecked has negative physical effects on the body, including increasing the risk of cardiovascular disease and other stress-related disorders.  Sure, there are other ways to relief stress naturally; exercise, sex, sleep, massage, baths, but don’t deprive yourself of a good cry. The natural stress relief is really the best of all options. 

Usually women are known as the weaker sex because we are more emotional and sensitive.  I find that statement to be libel and offensive since I consider myself to be a strong woman, but sometimes I have no choice and a good cry makes me feel better, it doesn’t mean I’m weak, it makes me human.   It is unhealthy to keep one’s feelings bottled up and shoved deep down inside.

On the other hand, men are known as the less emotional sex, the rock in the middle of a storm, and the reason is that from an early age they were told not to cry.  From a very young age, boys were indoctrinated to accept pressures and pains and to suppress their emotions. To always, show their masculinity, confidence and strength, no matter what.

But when is it okay for a man to display his emotions through crying?

There are plenty of acceptable times for a man to cry.   For example, the death of a loved one, the death of a beloved pet, a break up, at the birth of their newborn son or daughter or even when watching a moving film or show.  However, the majority of men don’t even consider crying an option.  Why do they stuff down the tears when they really need to let them out? When they are emotionally stressed, sad, in physical pain or depressed?   Why do men rarely consider it acceptable for themselves or other men to cry?   Does that make him any less of a man? 

As a mother of three boys, I asked my sons the same question, and all three came up with the same answer because ‘we were told to be brave little soldiers.’   It’s amazing how a simple harmless phrase can cause so much impact in a boy’s life.  I never told them not to cry, but somehow that is what a brave little soldier meant to them.

Society has a lot to do with the concept that a man needs to be strong.  But what does it mean for a man to be strong? Does it mean he cannot cry?  Does he have to be invincible and never show someone he trusts his vulnerable side? 

Crying is good for either gender, it is therapeutic, de-toxin, cathartic, and stress reliever.  Crying is a healthy response, not an emotional meltdown.  Men should be encouraged to cry; they should put down their shield and allow themselves to cry when the situation demands it.  Men who cry when it is considered appropriate for them to do so are no longer seem as weak or effeminate; to the contrary, it is a sign of strength and self-assurance.  Not showing your emotions makes one weaker in the end. Bottle up feelings are unhealthy mentally and physically. Of course, women will continue to shed tears significantly more often than men do, but it takes a truly strong man to be able to cry, especially in public.  Real men show their feelings. Real men do cry.  

Personally, I don’t mind seeing a man crying, a man who is willing to show his vulnerable side has my respect and admiration; it means that he is human, genuine and honest.   Every woman likes a strong man, but one with emotions.

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WHETHER THEY ARE ANGELS OR DEMONS, YOU CAN’T HELP BUT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERS OF PURPLE MOON by Judith P. Vaughan

In my previous blog, I introduced you all to my novel, Purple Moon, which is scheduled for release early 2012. After seeing the interest many of you have shown on my novel, I wanted to give you a little background on it.  I am proud to say that Purple Moon is the first novel I ever wrote and after so many years of it being filed away in a drawer, I will finally see it published.  This will be my third novel published.

As I go back and polish my novel, I remembered how much I loved my characters and how much I have missed them.   To some of you this may sound crazy, but if you are an author you know how emotionally involved you get with your characters. You develop an intimate relationship with them, kind of a one-sided romance.  A relationship that grows from spending hours, days and months with your characters and the psychological connection you get to share with your fictional creations.   It does not matter if the story is told in the first person narrative or the omniscient third person, if you want to make a believable character you must become faithful to the idea of their existence, and as a result, the author inevitably falls in love with the characters and sometimes it is hard to let go.  Now that you all know my insanity defense (*grin*) I would like to introduce to you the main characters of Purple Moon, and hope that you get to know them and maybe fall in love with them before the book is released.  

Here is where good and evil meet:

DRAKE SULLY, a hottie guardian angel with a rebel streak.  He has a simple assignment to protect the Shadow Guardian, but instead he falls in love with her.  If his gorgeous looks do not get her attention, his divine charisma will.  He is willing to do anything to keep her safe, even if it means putting his wings at risk.

            The stunningly handsome, E.J. BELLAMONT, he is a half demon with a hidden agenda.  His job is to get close to the Shadow Guardian without revealing his true identity, but to his family’s disgrace, he falls in love with her and refuses to let her go.

Then there is the dangerously sexy demon, JUSTIN BELLAMONT (E.J.’s older brother).  He is an ambitious young demon who wants to move up rank in the underworld; he is determined to be the one that ends the reign of the Shadow Guardian and he will destroy anyone who hinders his plan, even if it is his own flesh and blood.

And of course there is a leading lady, enters the beautiful, JADE PATTERSON, an orphan teenager, who on her eighteenth birthday learns of her legacy and the secret her mother kept hidden from her. —Jade is the product of her mother‘s love affair with an angel, but by the time she learns the truth, is already too late she has already made a pact that will change the course of her life.  She is a normal girl to the rest of the world, but to the underworld, she is known as the Shadow Guardian, a demon hunter. 

Purple Moon is the first of the Shadow Guardian trilogy, a gripping tale of love, betrayal, supernatural powers and a revelation that will change everyone’s life.  

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Book trailer for Butterfly Kisses